We’re prepping to smoke a 12lb brisket tomorrow. I went looking for my copy of Beer Advocate, where I pulled the rub recipe from, to freshen up my addled mind. I couldn’t find it. This made me annoyed with me. Why can’t I put stuff back where it’s supposed to go? Seriously, this would make life easier.

By adding this post here, now I don’t need to put the magazine back where it’s supposed to. Problem solved.

1/4 cup kosher salt
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup black pepper
1/4 cup paprika
1 tsp cheyenne
1 tbsp cocoa powder (I added this as an experiment this time. We’ll see if it makes any difference, better or worse)

I use all that on the brisket. Makum some good bark. 12ish hours at 225* later and you’ve got carnal carnivore delight.

That is all.

Recently, I’ve been appalled to the point of shedding blood-stained tears by the inept writings of one Steve Dolinksky, Chicago’s self-proclaimed Hungry Hound. Not only did he put Pequod’s on the honorable mention for top over-hyped pizza in Chicago, he then followed that up by putting the epitome of over-hyped Chicago, the fucking Bongo Room, as one of the top 5 breakfasts in Chicago. Clearly this man has been sipping wine poisoned with his own urine for too long.

That being said, he did make a recommendation this week I’m going to check out, Super Dawg’s Whoopskidawg. Unfortunately, WBEZ doesn’t allow you to embed their videos so you need to go to their site to check it out.

Here is Andrew Huff’s, from GapersBlock.com, description:

The Whoopskidawg is wholly different from your typical Chicago-style dog. The link itself is described on the Superdawg menu as “Romanian, Hungarian, Polish sausage” and is smokier and spicier than a hot dog, and it’s served on a “Whoopskiroll” — basically an onion roll for sausages — with well-grilled onions, a dill pickle spear and “special sauce.” It comes in a larger Superdawg box with the customary crinkle-cut fries and pickled green tomato. It is bigger than a standard hot dog, but I don’t think it’s so big as to require cutting in half, which Superdawg does for you in the box.

I wouldn’t have expected barbecue sauce on a sausage, but that’s basically what the special sauce is. And it works well with the flavors of the Whoopskidawg, roll and onions. The pickle spear is the odd man out here, and I set it aside to eat as a chaser — an old-school waitress once told me pickles aid in digestion. Overall, it’s a great sandwich: I’d eat this before I went with one of those bacon western burgers the fast food chains come out with every so often.

I was just talking yesterday about how I wanted to wreck my finances and buy a Big Green Egg. The ceramic of the egg holds the heat very efficiently, giving you temperatures upwards of 800* allowing you to grill, smoke, and even cook pizzas. Unfortunately, the Big Green Egg costs >$1k generally.

I’m pretty pleased to have found instructions on building a DIY alternative to the Big Green Egg, the Little Blue Egg. Seems like you can build this thing for under $200 in about 10 hours give or take. Not bad at all.

Summer is officially in full swing which means barbecue season. We here at OA love our BBQ, in fact my doctor would argue that I love it too much. Unfortunately, this summer the price of beef is through the roof, not just because of the BBQ demand but also because of a shortage of animals being killed in other parts of the world.  This means it’s up to American Beef producers to fill the void and American consumers to dig deeper into their wallets. That being the case I thought it a good time to share the bit of knowledge I’ve ran across over the years in hopes of helping people save some money and dine deliciously.

Now for starters, the cow pictured above, that’s a dairy cow. (See the size of the udder.)  The only thing you’ll get out of her once she’s through milking is hamburger.  The anatomy, however, is the same as a beef cow and thusly the picture will work for our purposes.

Let us begin by just walking around the beast a bit and then we’ll get to some money saving tips.

The first thing to think about when looking at the animal is where certain cuts come from and why they produce the meat they do.  It stands to reason of course that the portion of the animal extending from its legs would tend to be less tender.  These are, after all, the muscles used most by the animal.  Which is why the brisket, which lays at the top of the front leg, is best when prepared slow and low as in BBQ or salted as in Corned Beef.  Above the brisket lies the chuck, this part of the animal can be a bit confusing as the names of the cuts can vary a lot and from time to time and change as slaughterhouses process the animals differently  in an attempt produce cuts that better serve customer demands.  Commonly this area produces many roasts, the kind one likes to place in a pot, but it also can be cut to produce beef chuck shoulder tender, neck off chuck roll or clods.  All of which are commonly used by restaurants in producing steak dishes that are not steaks.  Think stir fry’s, burritos and the like.  The shoulder is also home, perhaps most deliciously, to the short ribs.  A cut that is not a rib at all but rather a fatty deliciousness that has in recent years become quite popular and surprisingly expensive.

Moving to the middle of the animal we start to see cuts that are more familiar.  The rib, of course, gives us the ribs.  Which while perhaps less delicious than those given us by barnyard brethren, the pig, are still quite popular.  This area also gives us the rib roast, which in its state of platonic perfection becomes the Prime Rib.  A phrase,  I must admit, just caused my eyes to tear up a bit.  Below the rib is the plate, the plate provides the skirt steak, very popular throughout Mexico and down through Central and South America.  Certainly it’sd a staple of the new wave of Brazilian steakhouses.

Next to the plate lies the flank, which surprisingly enough gives us the flank steak.  A widely seen cut of meet, largely because of its low price.  It can be very flavorful and while I’d gladly dine on it at a friends house it will never find its way to my table.  Above the flank and into the back we enter the blessed zone.  This is the short loin, Uncle Sam territory, the place where all of the great steakhouse steaks are produced.  Here you will find the Porterhouse or T-Bone as well as its constituent parts the Strip and Tenderloin.  These, along with the sirloin, which sits next to it, are the biggies and man are they good.  You’ll notice that this is not a very large part of the animal,  the main reason for the high price and demand, particularly if it grades prime.  The sirloin, as I said, sits next to the short loin and produces both top and bottom sirloin.  If you’re picking, pick the top.  The sirloin also holds a variety of  tender roasts and the ball tip, another commonly employed cut in cheaper steak dishes.

After the loins it’s similar to  what’s in the front of the animal only often with less fat.  I have made some delicious beef sandwiches and beef bourguignon using bottom round but this area generally requires heavy manipulation and does not stand on it’s own two feet.  To be honest I’m rather exhausted after the paroxysm that was the short loin.  Let’s move on shall we.

Here some money saving tips:

1) Buy in bulk.
That means getting away from your local supermarket and enjoying a trip to a butcher or wholesale processor with a factory store.  There are several of these in Chicago, particularly in the Fulton Market district. I’ve had good luck at Peoria Packing or if you have a hook up Restaurant Depot, just don’t go on a weekend it gets a bit busy. If you don’t live near anyplace like this some things can be found at Sam’s club but don’t give those bastards any dime you don’t have to. By buying in bulk I don’t mean purchasing a whole animal, which while it can be a good and cost efficient option requires a lot of freezer space and a deep and abiding love of hamburger and roasts. What I’m speaking about specifically is buying whole loins or rib roasts and cutting your own steaks.   If you happen to find the loins in cryovac packaging it also provides you an opportunity for wet aging which while perhaps not as good as http://www.goodcooking.com/steak/dry_aging.htm can really help enhance the flavor and tenderness of your steaks.

2) Know what to look for and what you like.
When buying in bulk the meat will not only appear different than what you are used to seeing in the grocery store but it may also have a slightly different name. For example the New York Strip steak you’re used to seeing is actually a cross section of a strip loin which will be a long sort of parabola and weigh probably 8 to 12 lbs. While the Filet Mignon you love so much will either be called  Tenderloin or PSMO (peeled side muscle on) Tenderloin and will be a long cylinder weighing 5 to 8 lbs. Regardless of what you buy engage your butcher, they can help you to better understand what it is your looking at and may even have preparation ideas. Also, it is best to stick to USDA choice or prime beef. Always steer clear of select product and only buy ungraded meat if you’ve had it and know it to be of good quality.

3) Get creative, have fun.
A great way to save money and feed lots of people is to find ways to make cheaper cuts delicious. There are three primary methods of doing this. 1) Cook it slow and low. 2) Tenderize – either with marinade or by pounding. 3) Cook it light and slice it right.
- Number one is obvious enough and has been practiced and perfected the world over. We can’t all be kings but learn how to slow cook a brisket or slowly braise a roast and you can eat like one.
- Number two works great for those steaks that aren’t quite the steaks you wish they we’re. A good marinade can not only add flavor but help to break down the connective tissue. Maybe you remember mom pounding steaks as a kid, I know I do. Well the theory is simple, beat it until it breaks down maybe toss some flour on it and drop it in a pan. If your really feeling gluttonous batter that thing, fry it, whip up some country gravy you’ve got a chicken fried steak. Further proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Number three is real fun but not always practical. The best example that I can think of is the Tri-tip . It’s a cut that comes from the bottom part of the sirloin and when cooked medium rare to rare is delicious. That is assuming of course that you cut it against the grain, cut it with the grain and you get the sort of thing a cobbler would throw away. Sliced properly this meat will melt in your mouth and provide all the wonderful flavor that comes with high fat content.

From the always helpful lifehacker blog:

Myth 1:

A steak is a steak is a steak.
Fact:

Not all steaks are created equal and each requires its own special way of grilling. Thin ones, like skirt and flank steaks, should be grilled quickly over a hot fire. Thick steaks, like a porterhouse or T-bone, require a two zone fire – the hot zone for searing, the medium hot zone for cooking the meat through. Tough, fibrous steaks, like flank steaks, should be scored on the top and bottom to tenderize them and thinly sliced across the grain when served. Lean steaks, like filet mignon, require added fat, either in the form of an oil-based marinade or a wrapping of pancetta or bacon.
Myth 2:

You should bring a steak to room temperature before grilling.
Fact:

Leaving meat out at room temperature is a formula for disaster and there isn’t a respectable steak house in the world that does it. Steaks (indeed, any meat) should be kept ice-cold – and bacteria free – until the moment they go on the grill. (When you’re working over a 600° to 800°F fire, it takes mere seconds to take the chill off the meat.)
Myth 3:

Salt toughens steak. Don’t apply it before grilling.
Fact:

A generous sprinkling of salt (kosher or coarse sea salt) and cracked black peppercorns applied just prior to grilling gives you the savory crust and robust flavor characteristic of the best steak house steaks. Grill masters from Florence to Florianópolis back me up on this. Season steaks right before they go on the grill. Just don’t season them hours ahead or the salt will draw out the meat juices and make the steaks soggy.
Myth 4:

A barbecue fork is the proper tool for turning a steak.
Fact:

Stabbing a steak with a fork serves only to puncture the meat and drain out the juices. Turn your steaks with tongs.
Myth 5:

Turn the steaks often while grilling.
Fact:

If you watch really top steak masters from around the world, you’ll notice they turn a steak only once. Why? This produces a better crust.
Myth 6:

The best way to check a steak for doneness is to cut into it with a knife.
Fact:

Again, cutting the meat releases the juices. The best way to check for doneness is to poke a steak with your finger. A rare steak is soft and squishy; a medium rare steak is yielding; medium is gently yielding; medium-well is firm; and well-done is hard and springy.
Myth 7:

Steak tastes best sizzling hot off the grill.
Fact:

Like most grilled meats, a steak hot off the grill will taste leathery and dry. You need to let it rest for a few minutes on a warm plate before serving. This allows the meat to “relax,” making for a juicier, more tender steak.

Finally, for flavor, sheen, and succulence, don’t forget to drizzle a little extra-virgin olive oil, melted butter, or beef fat over your perfectly grilled steak before serving. Think of it as the varnish on your masterpiece.

I’m sitting here with a particularly acute case of the Mondays. Brains broken, nails filthy, my work clothes smell of that finest of hillbilly cologne – hickory smoke. It was a long journey into the heart of flavor country, and not without it’s perils, but, like any good journey, I can now sit satisfied on the other side of the conquest, comfortable in the knowledge that we properly courted and slayed the dragon presented to us.

Here’s the situation: two friends were getting married and asked that Matt and I prepare the food for the gathering. Estimates were about 150 people. So we picked up 3 briskets about 11lbs a piece, 4 10lb pork butts, and about 30lbs of breasts and thighs. Knowing that pulled meat is always tastier the second day we made the pork and chicken on Friday, leaving Saturday for cooking the brisket and serving the hungry masses. And, because we’re gluttons for punishment and I’ve got a germanic penchant for over-committing, we offered to brew a souvenir beer for all the attendees. We brewed up about 10 gallons of IPA and 5 gallons of a Mai Bock. That picture above is a point of pride for me, it’s our IPA with the custom labels adorned which had, over the course of the evening, become a very real part of Chicago’s weekending landscape. What more affirmation can a hack brewer desire than to have their precious beer rest upon a throne of concrete, cigarettes and industry? None I say.

What did we learn? If what can be considered learned is what can be expected to be practiced in the future, then we probably learned very little. But, at least at this point, so soon after the event, there were a few things that stick out as worth remembering for the future.

First off, those thermometers that come in the consumer level smokers are a joke. They don’t reflect any kind of accurate reading. Fortunately, Matt’s dad, Jim Shirley, who you might recall from an early OA post, bought us a Redichek Maverik Remote Smoker Thermometer to use. It was awesome. Not only did we get an actual temperature read from inside our grill, but we could also monitor our meat’s temperature as well. And when the Cubs/Sox came on on Friday we could retreat from the blistering summer humidity, sit in the AC and watch the Cubs embarrass themselves all keeping an eye on our project. The downside of the Redichek Maverik Remote Smoker Thermometer is that it just isn’t built to handle the brutality of the OA team. The food probe lasted only through one smoking session before we thoroughly wrecked it. Disappointing to be sure.

I think I’m going to try and pick up another remote temperature probe and try it out as the convenience is really hard to beat. The guys over at Salt & Fat recommended the OXO Good Grips Digital Leave-In Meat Thermometer though that doesn’t have the ambient temperature probe that is really a godsend when you’re smoking. There’s a few other on Amazon I’m going to check out, hopefully something that is built a bit better than the Maverick.

Of course, I could always do the right thing. And you know what the right thing is, don’t you? Spend a bunch of money on a sweet new gadget. Let’s say, a gadget like The Stoker!

The Stoker allows you to monitor your ambient temperature, your meat temperature and also is connected to a PID that are hooked up to blowers to automatically stoke your coals when your heat drops. But that’s not really the craziest part. It also has a web interface that allows you to automate your settings and thriving development community building new apps for the Stoker, apps that help you take diagnostics of your smoking session. Oh yeah, and it also interfaces with Twitter and Facebook to send you a message when your temperature goes high or your meat reaches it’s optimum temperature. Holy nerd balls, Batman! A smoking aparatus that you can run from your smart phone!! This is probably the coolest and nerdiest thing I’ve come across in a long while. I want! I want! The only thing that’s holding me back right now is that a) I don’t have a smart phone (come on Verizon and release that HTC Incredible) and b) the Stoker costs twice what our smoker actually cost us. There’s not much to it really, a couple thermocouples, a blower and a PID, I may just go ahead and build one for myself rather than spend the $280 on it. Though slothfulness is enticing as well…

But you know what we used to replace the broken probe on our Redicheck so that we could monitor the ambient temperature on our second smoker? A $5 liquid thermometer from Menards. That there is something for you gear heads to chew on.

Another thing we learned this weekend, pulling pork and chicken by hand is a job reserved solely for sucks. Fortunately, we had AJ and JohnnyK to help us out, but, even still, four people pulling 70lbs of meat took us over 3 hours. That shit was not fun. But, those 3 hours gave us plenty of time to discuss the design of a machine that would automate the meat pulling process should there not already be one in existence. Fortunately, however, there is a machine that automatically pulls meat already in existence. Oddly enough, it’s a concrete mixer that you can buy at Home Depot for just a few hundred dollars.

For those of you a bit more budget minded apparently the Bear Paws are supposed to be pretty effective as well.

As far as the beer goes we took our first pass at custom labels. I got turned onto the Beer Labelizer, a helpful app built to allow you to apply custom text to 4 different labels. Unfortunately, my favorite label they offer was ovular and I was not about to cut out 150 oval labels by hand. So I borrowed the labelizers color scheme and just built my own label with an image that one of the bride & groom’s friend had drawn of them. The labels were 3.5″x4″ and fit real nice on the bottle and, being rectangular, were real easy for AJ to cut out (thanks, pig!). I was able to get 30 full color sheets of sticker paper bought and printed at Kinko’s (or whatever it is now) for under $15 – awesome.

What else did I learn? Hmm, I learned, at least 5 times on Friday that when metal is close to heat it seems to actually absorb the heat and get hot itself and if you touch that metal your nerves send impulses to your brain that force you to make a face like your a retard getting a prostate exam. I learned I really like spending long days working on improbable projects with my friends, getting little sleep and waking up early again to keep working on them. I learned that it’s awesome to smoke cigarettes in the rain under a small shelter. And that there’s no better way to spend a Saturday night than eating meat, drinking beer, and celebrating two people falling in love.

My roommate, Mr. King, recently cooked some steaks using the method detailed in the video above and claims to have achieved the best results he’s ever had with steak. Listening to the theory it certainly makes sense, but strikes me as strange, that of all the ways I’ve cooked steak and all the people I’ve talked to about cooking steak, I have never run across this method. Of particular interest to me is the accelerated dry aging process. If this actually helps to make a lower grade steak more tender not only could it save a bit of cash, but also help deal with the eternally inconsistent quality of cuts in Chicago supermarkets. Certainly it’s worth trying as Cooks Illustrated and America’s Test Kitchen (even though the dude, below, is real creepy and likely into some deviant food sex shit) rarely steer you wrong.

Can anybody – other than my wife, my landlord or my neighbors – give a a good reason not to build this bad mammy jammy?

Maybe these will help me deal with the day side of my fucking insomnia.

We invented the Maple Bacon Lollipop, and now we’ve improved it: we’ve made it the bacon-y equivalent of an energy drink, adding two cups worth of caffeine to the already time-tested wonder of organic, sustainably farmed bacon and delicious Vermont maple syrup.

We stand in awe, heady with the thrill of maple bacon discovery, and cold munchin’ on a lollipop.

An even more perfect gift for the sweet-toothed pork aficionado in your life.

Get your Caffeinated Maple-Bacon Lollipops here.

Yeah! What that subject line said!

A to-be-published meta-analysis in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition supports my view that animal fat is nowhere as bad as we’ve been told a thousand times. It says:

During 5–23 y of follow-up of 347,747 subjects, . . . intake of [more] saturated fat was not associated with an increased risk of CHD [coronary heart disease], stroke, or CVD [cardiovascular disease]. The pooled relative risk estimates that compared extreme quantiles of saturated fat intake were 1.07 (95% CI: 0.96, 1.19; P = 0.22) for CHD, 0.81 (95% CI: 0.62, 1.05; P = 0.11) for stroke, and 1.00 (95% CI: 0.89, 1.11; P = 0.95) for CVD.

Emphasis added. One aspect of the results suggested that studies that found an positive association (more fat, more disease) were more likely to be published than those that didn’t find an association or found a negative association. Which means these numbers may underestimate the good effects.

I scrubbed this from this dude Seth’s Blog.

I kinda want to celebrate by eating my neighbors dog!