Here is a vague approximation of the wicked ass egg nog I seem to remember making for SantaKong for a few years (I scale up to use a bottle of each of the liquors). It is best served in a gas can. It pairs well with jackassery.

You will have regrets, but you will have lived. Or at least that is what the people will tell you.

Amen.

2 quarts milk
4 cinnamon sticks
2 vanilla beans, split
10 cloves
20 blades of mace
24 egg yolks
3 cups sugar
2.5 cups dark rum
2.5 cups brandy
2.5 cups whiskey
2 tablespoon vanilla
2 quart of “half-and-half”*
freshly grated nutmeg to taste

1) Combine milk and spices including vanilla bean in a heavy saucepan and let them infuse over lowest possible heat for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, combine yolks and sugar in a large bowl and whisk until mixed.

2) Bring milk to just below a boil and gradually whisk it into the yolk mixture. Return the mixture to the saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring steadily with a wooden spoon, for 2 to 3 minutes, or until foam subsides and mixture thickens to consistency of heavy cream. (Mixture should thickly coat the back of a wooden spoon.) Do not boil, or mixture will curdle.

3) Strain mixture into a large bowl and let cool to room temperature. Stir in rum, brandy, half-and-half, vanilla and nutmeg.

4) Refrigerate eggnog overnight. Just before serving, dust top of eggnog with additional nutmeg.