Holy crap this is awesome! ThinkGeek is offering a tauntaun sleeping bag this Christmas season complete with gut filled liner and a light saber to open the tauntaun with.

I totally need one of these so I have the proper receptacle to pee my pants from excitement in!

It’s like the subject says, just like the subject says. It’s at the Small Bar on Division, too.

Here’s more info.

A friend gave me a bottle of the infamous 3 Floyd’s Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout a few weeks ago. I decided to use it punch up a pot roast I was making. Here’s the recipe:

* 3 1/2 lb of beef shoulder or boneless chuck roast
* 1 Tbsp olive or grapeseed oil
* Salt, pepper, Baldridge’s to taste
* 1 large yellow onion, chopped or sliced
* Mushrooms
* 8 cloves of garlic, peeled
* 1 cup of 3 Floyd’s Dark Lord
* Several carrots, peeled and cut lengthwise
Cover your beef thoroughly on all sides with the salt, pepper and Baldridge’s. Take a stove friendly slow cooker and add some olive oil to the bottom, bring it up to heat. Brown every side of your roast. Once browned pull out the roast and scrape the carmelized fat off the sides and bottom of the slow cooker and mix around in the oil. Add in your Dark Lord and onions and garlic and mushrooms.
Bring the heat down low and put your roast back in there. Leave cooking for at least 3.5 hours. About 30 minutes before serving put in your carrots. Eat.

In other Imperial Stout news, it looks like Half Acre’s Big Hugs Imperial Stout is now available at their store. I’m leaving to pick up a couple growlers right now.

I love Devil’s Head. It’s the snowboarding equivalent of an old, tetanus riddled, metal jungle gym. Run by carnies and littered with overfed, pasty-faced drunks with swords strapped to their feet, this place remains one of the last great lines to that kind of true-grit American fun you could only get in the strychnine-laced 1970′s. You remember the 1970′s right? That magical time before the whole known world was potty trained and pussy whipped? Yes, that time.

One of the things that helped make the days of yore so grand and, in turn, helped keep Devil’s Head so much fun despite the lack of any kind of actual grade change, was the very real prospect that the yellowing thread barely keeping this shit house from collapsing could snap at any minute. Well, that thread snapped last night at Devil’s Head.

“I seen all these people down here hurt and all this metal,” he said, referring to the base of the lift. “We were hearing screams from down here at the bottom and decided to jump off.”

Netz said he didn’t argue with the decision.

“These things aren’t supposed to go backwards,” he said.

You can read the whole article here.

Tonight join me in lighting a foily in fond memory of another good thing probably about to come to an end.

Chicago’s temperature index is staying comfortably below freezing now, in fact, most days this week we were below zero with windchill. I haven’t yet committed to the adjustment for riding my bike to work in the mornings, but I think I’ll start with that again next week. My plan for that is to basically dress like I’m going snowboarding – pants, first layers, gloves, coat, helmet and goggles – but tape up my pants. I’ll be sure to include my gator as well as that early morning air can sting to hell when we get down in the single and double digits.

But biking winter is a peripheral joy for me, one that I take and leave based on need more than pleasure. I much prefer to stick with seasonal activities requiring gear that is elegantly prepped for the conditions, not simply coerced into function. And, to my mind, there’s no low buy-in winter activity in the midwest quite as enjoyable as cross country skiing.

I fought XC skiing for years, assuming it was as dull as the people I knew who did it. I could never figure out where the enjoyment came from and was always trying to figure out where they were hiding the hill. But something switched in my aging brain last year and I decided to try it again as I wrestled to discover more ways I could interact with winter and snow beyond snowboarding. Much to my surprise I fell in love with cross country skiing. There’s a low learning curve, it’s totally accessible and it gives me a new reason to find desolate paths in and outside the Chicago area. It offers me the kind of satisfied solitude I have found myself longing for more and more as I get older.

Fortunately, my XC skis don’t require waxing. They’ve got fish scales on them and require almost zero maintenance. Matt, on the other hand, picked up a real nice pair of XC Skis on the cheap from Craigs list last year, nice enough that they require a steady waxing. We’re getting together tomorrow to prep his skis for the weekend, so here’s a video to help get my brain running around this process properly again.

So I tried our IPA (a very loose Bell’s Two Hearted Clone) and it’s just OK. It’s not fully carbonated yet so I’m sure that will improve it’s flavor a bit, but the real issue is that it’s real thin, way too bitter (even for me), and there’s a similar, very subtle flavor in there that I don’t care for, to what is in our Bitter (and works better in the Bitter).

Based on my present understanding of this stuff I’m assuming that flavor is most likely from the yeast we’ve been using or, possibly, that we’ve been using Chicago tap water. So for our next attempt at the Two Hearted Clone, I’m going to do a few things different:

1. Use distilled water
2. Use Centennial hops for the bittering (what Bell’s uses), though I’m going to stay with Cascade for the dry hopping as I really prefer it’s aroma and I’m pretty sure it’s what Half Acre uses, at least for aroma, on their Daisy Cutter.
3. Try a new kind of yeast, White Labs wlp051 California Ale yeast.

The use of the new yeast will hopefully help give our beer more body and help the taste a bit.  But, with using White Labs instead of the wyeast activator, I’ll now have to do a yeast starter in order to get the most from my vial of liquid yeast.  I poked around the internet a bit and found plenty of decent instructions on how to make a yeast starter.  I thought the nice folks over at AllGrainAles.com had one of the better and clearer instructions on how to do this.

Here’s how to make a yeast starter from your wort compliments of AllGrainAles.com:

Equipment Checklist:

- Clean glass bottle / jug (a growler works great)
- Bottle stopper
- Airlock
- 1/2 gallon spring water
- dry packaged brewing yeast or liquid yeast culture
- Funnel
- Medium-sized sauce pan
- 1/2 lb dry malt extract

As with all brewing procedures, it is crucial to maintain very sanitary conditions when handling yeast and all starting wort and equipment.

# Remove your yeast from refrigeration before beginning your mash on brew day.
# Draw off some wort during the sparging process (maybe a quart) and place in a medium-sized sauce pan. Check the gravity of this liqid and dilute to 1.020 – 1.030, if necessary. You’ll need about 1.75 quarts total.
# Boil this wort for 10-15 min. Reduce temperature (let it sit for 45 min. covered) and pour it (slowly) into a sterile 1/2-gallon jug (using a sterile funnel). Cap this with a stopper and airlock to maintain optimal conditions.
# Reduce and monitor temperature (running cold water against the jug) until it reaches 72°-74° F.
# Aerate this wort and add the room-temperature yeast.
# Mix and maintain temperature above 70° until it is added to the finished wort.

Here is a vague approximation of the wicked ass egg nog I seem to remember making for SantaKong for a few years (I scale up to use a bottle of each of the liquors). It is best served in a gas can. It pairs well with jackassery.

You will have regrets, but you will have lived. Or at least that is what the people will tell you.

Amen.

2 quarts milk
4 cinnamon sticks
2 vanilla beans, split
10 cloves
20 blades of mace
24 egg yolks
3 cups sugar
2.5 cups dark rum
2.5 cups brandy
2.5 cups whiskey
2 tablespoon vanilla
2 quart of “half-and-half”*
freshly grated nutmeg to taste

1) Combine milk and spices including vanilla bean in a heavy saucepan and let them infuse over lowest possible heat for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, combine yolks and sugar in a large bowl and whisk until mixed.

2) Bring milk to just below a boil and gradually whisk it into the yolk mixture. Return the mixture to the saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring steadily with a wooden spoon, for 2 to 3 minutes, or until foam subsides and mixture thickens to consistency of heavy cream. (Mixture should thickly coat the back of a wooden spoon.) Do not boil, or mixture will curdle.

3) Strain mixture into a large bowl and let cool to room temperature. Stir in rum, brandy, half-and-half, vanilla and nutmeg.

4) Refrigerate eggnog overnight. Just before serving, dust top of eggnog with additional nutmeg.

For low these past 8 years now a group of degenerates near and dear to my heart have been hosting Chicago’s version of the SantaCon, the inimitable (and superbly intoxicated) SANTA KONG. Yes, it’s as intimidating as a 3 story gorilla and almost as virile, too. Yes, you will get drunk, very drunk. And, yes, I will once again be serving my patented weapons-grade egg nog from a gas can.

If your idea of a good time is to travel around America’s third largest city in school buses full of drunken Stana Clauses, reigning lovable havoc on unsuspecting, but typically appreciative bystanders and then sleeping off your holiday cheer for a day or two, well then Virginia, the SantaKong is just the thing for you.

Here is what Disco Dave has to say about the event:

BASICS:
Synchronicity’s 8th Annual SantaKong begins at 2:00 PM Saturday – December 12th, 2009 at Quencher’s bar. Quencher’s is located at 2401 N. Western Avenue, on the corner of Fullerton & Western. This year the Kong will be using cheaper school buses, as opposed to trolleys from years past. This enables everyone to get jolly for nearly twice as long, without breaking the bank. Everyone will spend the first hour at Quencher’s decorating and festi-fying the buses. (Oh and drinking.) Please bring Christmas decorations and other Holiday swag to make our school buses as obnoxiously cheer-tastic as possible.

To join us, just Paypal $26 to pocketbook@synchroni-city.org. https://www.paypal.com

If you do not have a Paypal account, see the FAQ’s below.

YOU MUST WEAR A SANTA OR OTHER HOLIDAY-THEMED OUTFIT. IF YOU DON’T DRESS UP FOR SANTAKONG – YOU ARE LAME!

As usual, your $26 payment covers a massive quantity of beer and whiskey, which will be festively available at any and all times we are on the buses. You are still welcome, of course, to bring your own alcohol. In fact it’s kind of a tradition.

The Bus departs from Quencher’s at 3:00, and will return to the Quencher’s neighborhood at approximately 11:00-11:30 P.M.
FAQ’s:

WHAT IF I CAN’T BE AT QUENCHERS BY 3:00?
No worries, you can also plan on meeting up with us at The Twisted Spoke (501 N Ogden Ave) for our 4:30 departure.

If that doesn’t work out for you, please look for us at the corner of Lincoln, Halsted and Fullerton for our 6:00 departure from there. If you miss us at there, you’ll have to give us a call.

HOW DOES THIS WHOLE THING WORK NOW, EXACTLY?
The buses provide you and your Santa friends with safe and sober transportation from bar to bar around the great city of Chicago. Intermittently you’ll be bringing your unique brand of cheerful revelry to public settings like Daley Plaza, Macy’s, the Billy Goat Tavern, Emmitt’s, and even an Ice Skating Rink!

DO I REALLY HAVE TO WEAR A COSTUME?
Yes.

I DON’T DO PAYPAL . . . . CAN I STILL KONG OUT?
Maybe.

We will be taking some cash payments on the day of the event. However, an RSVP is strongly suggested, and there is limited space on our buses. If you do not Paypal us in advance, Synchronicity cannot guarantee you a spot on our buses. We strongly recommend you Paypal us your $26 in advance to guarantee your spot. Setting up a Paypal account is easy and free. All you need is a bank account and an email address, and you can both send and RECEIVE money.

ANYTHING GOES ON THE BUSES, RIGHT?
No, no and no. You must obey all state and local laws while participating in SantaKong. That means you may NOT use illicit substances on the buses . . . not even weed. Without the humor and good graces of our friendly drivers – we have no SantaKong. Please do not put our driver’s jobs or the event’s future in jeopardy. Obey all state and local laws while you’re on the bus.

WHAT IF I’M TOO WASTED TO DRIVE HOME?
Luckily, Quenchers has the advantage of being located close to several cheap CTA options, such as the Western Bus the Fullerton Bus, and the Blue Line, all three of which run on a 24-hour schedule. Also, cabs are everywhere in that neighborhood. PLEASE DO NOT PLAN ON DRIVING HOME FROM SANTAKONG. Your friends may be sad that you got splattered all over the Dan Ryan, but they’ll also be pissed off that your stupidity ruined a perfectly good SantaKong.

I HAVE A QUESTION YOU HAVEN’T ADDRESSED:
No problem. Email me at dave_h@illmeasures.com

Downtown the Disco Elf
for
Synchronicity

http://www.Synchroni-City.org

I pulled this recipe from part of another recipe in issue #33 of BeerAdvocate. It’s super easy and real effective.

1 cup raw nuts
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tsp IPA

Whisk the sugar, salt and IPA together into an opaque syrup. Add the nuts and stir well. Place the nuts on a parchment paper covered cookie tray and put in the over at 350* for about 20 minutes. The syrup will be bubbling and the nuts nicely browned. Remove and let cool.

I bet this would be tasty made in a smoker, too.

So this year I’m making my first ever Christmas Goose. Above is a before picture. I will then put it through the paces using a combination of recipes from Jacques Pepin, Julia Child and this recipe from Bonny Wolf of NPR which Brian sent me yesterday. This one is particularly interesting because of the information it provides on the delights of goose fat and the history of the goose on the American table.

This got me digging around to figure out exactly what has made the goose such an Icon of the European and to a lesser degree the American holiday table. Here’s a brief look at the mythological significance of the goose in ancient cultures:

“Feasting on geese has long been a tradition in the Old World, as is clear from ancient mythology. The prevalence of goose gods in numerous cultures attests to the ritual importance of geese and to the fact that these rituals date back to antiquity…The goose feast that came to characterize holiday celebrations in later times arise as a modern-day derivative of these ancient rites and sacrifices. People in Europe, Central Asia, North America, and North Africa customarily sacrified geese, particularly at the turn of the seasons. Like other migratory fowl, geese appeared and diappeared at crucial times in the yearly cycle, so eating them customairly accompanied ceremonial events in the solar and agricultural year. People have linked geese to the changing seasons for so long that originally the goose served as a sacrifice to the spirit of vegetation, in thanks for the harvest. After the goose was ceremonially killed, participants in the sacrifice feasted on its flesh in a ritual that they believed would ensure the regeneration of the Earth…Goose was served at the Celtic Samhain, or Halloween; the Germanic Yule, originally the first day of the new year; and Michaelmas, the ritual feast of the winter solstice. The Michaelmas feast is probably the most famous goose feast, apart from that at Christmas dinner…Turkeys, native to the New World, were more plentiful than geese during the period of early settlement. American settlers served turkey at Thanksgiving, making it the seasonal feast bird. In much of the Western world today, turkeys have replaced geese also at the Christmas feast; but for all practical purposes, these two birds share the same symbolism. Just as the people of the Old World connected geese to the sun, some of the North American tribes connected turkeys to the sun.”
—Nectar and Ambrosia: An Encyclopedia of Food in World Mythology, Tamra Andrews [ABC-CLIO:Santa Barbara CA] 2000 (p. 105-6) You can find more history on this site should you desire it.

As far as beer pairing is concerned with goose it seems that dark rich beers are generally favored. According to this pairing chart Porters, Doppelbocks and Trappist beers all work well. I think I’ll likely pick up a Teufel Bock from Atwater Brewery out of Detroit. Had one of these a couple of months ago at a local joint, Jak’s tap in the west loop, and found it quite delightful. I’ll probably add a Trappist as well, possibly Chimay as it’s a popular beer which I rarely drink and am interested in trying again. That, however, is a decision that remains to be made.

I will also be composing a song and a prayer to the goose. I’ll let ya know how that works out. I leave you with what will hopefully be an after picture.

Merry Michealmas!!!